It was something small but it spoke volumes...

last night Audrey and I capped off the weekend by watching a movie in her room on my computer. After the movie was over Audrey asked "what time is it?" and then looked on my computer's clock. "Wow its early!" She said as the clock read about 7:45..."Yeah almost enough time to get an 8 hour night of sleep before our 5am wake up call" I said. I have been conditioned to read the clock on computer, Audrey had not...you see, my clock was still set to west coast time. Audrey quickly realized that it was in fact 2 hours later than she had at first thought (West coast time is 14 hours behind). She then asked "Why haven't you changed that?" It was a simple question. I had a simple response...or so I thought; somewhat honestly I replied "Well, I don't know how to." Which is true-I am a brand new mac user so I have yet to pick up the little details of the computer...but the other part of the truth is that I more than easily could have figured out how to change the time...I just didn't really want to. Again, though small...the significance spoke volumes...

Perhaps I am being melodramatic (it wouldn't be the first time) but not having the correct time on my computer was an insight for me, into my own emotional state of acclimation. I really do love it here. Vietnam is a wonderful country. Being with and working with kids everyday is such a joy. Living simply is freeing. Being outside of my comfort zone has allowed a lot of room for growth...I could go on and on...I really do love it here, but, I don't feel settled.

I don't feel settled-to the point that I knew where I was in time from referencing some other time zone...ridiculous, right?!

Just look at my room and its easy to see that I am not settled. It is my house but not my home. I have yet to put up pictures...thats typically the first thing that I do when I move somewhere new.

I think settling looks different and takes a different amount of time here. When I immediately think of settling...I think of comfort. I feel settled when I feel comfortable about where I am...living in a different country (at least for me) is full of uncomfortable experiences, its just a part of life in such a new place. Therefore, if I am going to base my feelings of settlement off of emotions...I don't know that I"ll ever get there. I am learning more and more...that feeling settled needs to be a choice. I want to be here and I now need to choose to be here. I don't know if that makes any sense outside of my head. I just think that I am have been waiting to feel settled...and it isn't coming entirely on its own. And before you say anything, I know many of you are probably thinking "Kait, it hasn't even been two months yet!" which I realize and will admit that part of settlement is time contingent, I guess I am talking about a different aspect though.

I love it here. I want to be here. I am realizing more and more that I need to CHOOSE to be here-choose to be here with my everything...not just my physical being.

All that to say, Audrey helped me change my clock that night :) Baby steps.

If you pray, this would be an area that I would appreciate prayer in-that I may daily choose to be here and be now.

Grace and peace,

Kait

It was bound to happen...

I knew it was never a matter of if I make an embarrassing Vietnamese mistake but rather, when...and after last week I can say that I know the when (well, one of the many “when”s to come) :)

Last week was a great week as I began to meet some of our neighbors. One night Robin and I were walking back from school and about 4 of the neighbor ladies beckoned us over to come sit with them. (Something that is so great about Vietnam during the summer time, is that everyone is outside at night. Literally, everywhere you go, the streets are lined with little plastic tables and chairs filled with people chatting and eating.) I was a bit sheepish but Robin encouraged me to go, so we ended up joining them and talking for about 45 minutes. We used our broken Vietnamese, they used their broken English...and we made it work. Meanwhile, they kept buying more and more food from the street vendor to feed us during the conversation. I left that evening, so excited, thinking too myself “gosh, this is what it is all about”.

Fast forward 24 hours, the next evening...Ashleigh and I were walking home from school. I saw that some of the ladies that I had met the previous night were once again out. I couldn’t stay and chat that night but I was so excited to greet them using their names! I eagerly started waving and called out the first two women’s names...and then, I called out a third name. My third greeting was met with fits...no...tantrums of laughter from all the surrounding neighbor children. I think I immediately began to walk a little quicker as Ashleigh and I exchanged confused glances.

Later that evening, I asked one of our Vietnamese friends from school, Xuan, what I had said. She asked me what I thought the neighbor lady’s name was and I showed her how it was spelled (I had had the 4 women write their names in the notebook that I carry around with me). To the best of my ability, I then tried to tell her what I said. She immediately said “oh”...to which I said “crap” :) Xuan went on to explain to me that the tone that I had used to say my neighbors name in fact caused me to say the Vietnamese equivalent of the word “rape”. Yes, ladies and gentlemen...I walked down my street one night last week waving and saying “rape, rape, rape”. Wow. Talk about embarrassing! My face immediately turned bright red. I covered my mouth and tried to recover from the shock of my tonal mistake!

Vietnamese is a hard language to learn! It is comprised of 6 different tones...in other words, the same “word” said 6 different ways, could potentially mean 6 different things. It is amazing to me (in the short amount of time that I have been learning the language) to experience how my ear is just not trained to hear the differences in those tones and my tongue is not trained to make those different tones. It is quite the adventure to learn...lets just put it that way.

The past few days when I have passed by that particular neighbor...I have kept my greeting to a smile and hello...nothing more. But don’t worry...I am working on it :)

Grace and peace,

Kait

"Its a small world after all..."

I just got back from a wonderful wonderful weekend! Hold on to your seats, this is a random happening...so, my mom gets her hair cut in Redmond, WA by a lady named Heidi. Heidi has been in the states for almost 30 years but is originally from Vietnam! As it turns out, Heidi was due to make a trip back home which my mom found out a few weeks ago while...you guessed it...getting her haircut :) My mom proceeded to give Heidi my email address. Long story short, it just so happens that Danang is among one of the many stops along Heidi’s 2 week stay in the country. She was to fly into the city and then drive about 2 hours to a city called Hue. Her cousin (and family) lives there and Heidi was planning on spending 3-4 days doing some sightseeing. She invited me to come along; I at first declined because she was getting in on Sunday morning and I needed to be back Monday evening for class. Heidi and her counsin, absolutely insisted that I come and said that they would love it if I joined them (and that it would be no problem to get me back in time for class)...so I accepted.

Heidi’s cousin, cousin’s husband and daughter picked me up Sunday morning and so the adventure began. We went to the airport to pick up Heidi, Heidi’s sister, a friend from Saigon and then a Vietnamese couple (who were visitng from Renton, WA...crazy!). I was only with them for about 36 hours but we did so much and oh man did we eat! I thought I had been eating well while here (and I have been) but it sure did pale in comparison to the amazing food that we ate (Don Lewis- I totally thought of you, I think your “foodie” self would have been overjoyed by the feasts that we had :) The things that we did and the food that we ate were amazing...but what really made it such a spectacular weekend was the people that I shared it with...

There were multiple times over the weekend that I found myself tearing up at the breath taking generosity that these people showed me. In typical Vietnamese fashion (a “Vietnamese invite” usually means that the inviter pays but I didn’t know that this would apply for the entire trip!), they didn’t allow for me to pay for anything and I mean anything-not the 5 meals, not the countless coffees/beverages, not dessert, not the boat ride, not the hotel room...and to top it all off, they knew that I needed a purse so they took me to the market and had me pick one out and gave it to me as a gift! And just in case there is any confusion, allow me to make it clear...in no way was I just “tagging along” on this trip...they pampered me and catered to me...treated me like royalty! At every meal they made sure that the food was everything that I could eat and my last meal with them was at a special Vegetarian restaurant.

Through Heidi translating I came to understand that this family from Hue wants to take me in as a little sister, that is if I will accept. They said that I could come to Hue any weekend that I wanted...and the thing is, I really do believe that they meant every word! If I were literally to come every single weekend I think it would do nothing but please them...talk about generosity! They also invited me to come and be a part of their family for the New Year celebration in February. This celebration virtually shuts down the entire country. Many people, foreigners and Vietnamese alike have advised me to leave the country at this time unless I have a family to take me in (think, Christmas day for a week straight). All this to say, these people were honestly and sincerely, inviting me to be a part of their family.

I at one point over the weekend I told Heidi “Gosh, I am being SO spoiled” and she replied “No you’re not. You are family, we all love you. This is normal.” Wow.

Heidi and I began talking about the Vietnamese people and how hospitable they are...it was a pretty interesting conversation. She helped me understand that in Vietnam, versus the US...they don’t use a lot of words to communicate care but they sure do show it in their actions. Whereas in the states, sometimes we can say a lot of nice and flattering things...but I don’t know if our actions line up as much. We meet people for coffee, invite them out for a meal...but I don’t think that it is really a part of our culture to open up our homes and families...at least not to the extent that I witnessed within the past 48 hours.

This weekend served as a model for me. I want my life to be characterized by the same kind of generosity...and my hope is that it would flow as naturally and abundantly.

Grace and peace,

Kait